Where do I recognize you from?

Prem liked Shahzeen before he ever even met her. 

Unbeknownst to her, Prem had listened to an episode of Shahzeen’s radio show where she discussed divorced families in the Muslim community. As a divorced dad, Prem was happy to see someone discussing a topic that he wasn’t used to hearing a lot of “support or talk” about. 

A few weeks later, the Maryland-based Prem found himself in Chicago attending a self-improvement workshop. Talking to one of the other attendees, he realized that he recognized her voice. 

“As she started talking I said ‘Hey, wait a minute, you sound familiar!’” he told Meet Cutes NYC. 

The rest, as they say, is history. Here’s their story.

How’d you meet? 

Shahzeen: I used to host a radio show when I lived in Chicago. I ended up interviewing a mutual friend of ours. A few weeks later, we each got two tickets to a self improvement workshop. She used her ticket to invite Prem, and I went on my own. That was the first time we met. He happened to recognize me from the show. 

You listened to her show, Prem? 

Prem: I think the show she was doing, that particular episode was around divorced families in the Muslim communities. I had been divorced a few years earlier. I thought it was interesting because we don’t talk about it a lot. Especially for guys, there’s not a lot of discussion or support or talk around these things. So I was like Oh, that’s interesting, let me listen to that. And I liked her voice and this person.

When I went to that workshop in Chicago, I didn’t know Shahzeen was the same person from the radio. But as she started talking I said “Hey, wait a minute, you sound familiar!”

Shahzeen: He had flown in from Maryland to attend that seminar. 

What were your first impressions? 

Shahzeen: I thought he was cute. I also didn't realize he was Muslim. Just because of his name. It's not a typical Quranic or Arabic name. So I just kind of dismissed the thought. Also, I wasn't looking for anybody at that time. That was pretty much it until I saw him pray later on. And then that kind of caught my attention. But again, I wasn't looking for anybody so I just kind of dismissed any thoughts about it. He was also divorced and had a child, so I was like Okay, he’s six years older than I am. That's pretty much it. That's where it ended for that weekend. 

Prem: First I guess I was shocked that the person I had listened to on the radio show happened to be right in front of me. It was unexpected. Second, it seemed like she was a spiritually oriented girl and also was very beautiful. 

How did you start talking? 

Prem: I had the perfect hedge. I went all professional. I found her on LinkedIn and I said “Hey, we should stay connected. It was nice meeting you.” And she said yes and it allowed us the opportunity to chat after. 

What did you think when he messaged you? 

Shahzeen: I was excited. I was impressed by the fact that he contacted me through LinkedIn and not Instagram or Facebook or something. I thought that was quite mature and different. And then I think we went back and forth on email a few times and then I asked him if he wanted to call me. We just took it from there. 

I was interested right when we started talking, and I think he was too. We talked almost every day. And then around two weeks later he flew in to Chicago and then he’d fly in every two weeks to see me. 

How’d you start dating? 

Shahzeen: I think by the first time we met after talking on the phone we had decided that this was something we wanted to pursue. We immediately started talking about taking it more seriously. Among Muslims, generally, we don’t tend to date without a purpose. You talk with the intention of the potential of marriage down the road.

I told him that I had previously gotten out of a relationship where I talked to someone for like three or four years and it didn’t lead to anything. So I needed him to be serious. I kind of gave him a one-year deadline. 

Was it a spoken deadline or unspoken?

Shahzeen: It was very spoken. 

Prem: By her! 

Were you on the same page? 

Prem: No, I don’t think so. I had the interest, but I wasn’t sure about the time. That was a little bit challenging for me. But there was no other way. It was towards that end or nothing. 

How’d things grow from there? 

Prem: We were long distance, so it was challenging. We would talk on the phone. I would go out there every couple weeks to visit. She’d come to DC, but not as often because she was still in law school. I was working, so I had a little more flexibility. 

I met her parents and she met mine along the way. It all led towards us getting married the following year. 

Shahzeen: My parents thought I was possessed for considering somebody who was previously married and had a child! My parents were divorced when I was really young. Divorce is a lot more common now and people talk about it more openly, but 10 or 15 years ago it was more of a taboo subject.

My mom didn’t talk to me for a few weeks. My dad didn’t want to consider this at all. But I told them “Just give him one shot. Just meet him one time. And If you like him, great. If not, I won’t pursue this anymore.” 

Did you know you had one chance to impress them, Prem? 

Prem: I definitely knew. I think generally people know in life that we have to make a good first impression, especially when it comes to marriage. And then even more so in our community and specifically with my situation, which is that I had a lot going against me in her parents’ minds. I knew that, for sure.

All I could do was put my best foot forward. You can’t control other people’s feelings, right? I just had to hope and pray that their hearts were changed. 

How’d you do it? 

Shahzeen: He’s definitely smooth talker. He can get everybody to like him. He’s a people person. 

Prem: I’m not very good at a lot of things, but I can build relationship quickly. It’s what I do at my job every day. I work in partnerships in the enterprise software business. I think those skills go across all parts of life, it’s not only business. 

Shahzeen: My mom immediately liked Prem. My dad saw a lot of himself in Prem because he was also divorced with a daughter who was almost the same exact age as Prem’s daughter was at that time. And he saw Prem’s ambition. That was a big thing. My dad saw his drive. 

Are you glad you listened to that radio show? 

Prem: I mean, I’m in an SUV outside of Lake Tahoe right now with her and three kids sitting in the car. I can’t ask for more. I’m more blessed than most people I know. It’s awesome. I’m glad I did.

🤔 We want to hear from you!

📊Last Week We Asked…

• Would you make the first move and ask someone out?

  • 75% said “Yes! If I like them, I’ll ask them out”

  • 25% said “No way. They need to make the first move if they want a date with me”

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Interviewed and transcribed by Nicolas Vega. This interview has been edited for length and clarity.