Finding Love After Trauma

Hello and welcome back to the Love Letter! We first spoke to River and Peter in July, when the pair told us about meeting at a Texas conversion therapy camp when they were just 18 years old.

After the response we got from viewers about their moving story, we knew we had to learn more. River and Peter were generous enough to sit down for an interview with the Love Letter to talk about their time in the cult and what the positive response from the Meet Cutes NYC audience has meant to them.

And in housekeeping news, we’d like to let you know that the Love Letter will be moving to a monthly schedule. This change will allow us to spend more time giving you in-depth conversations with our most compelling couples, as well as diving into the questions you’ve been asking in the comments!

In addition to the monthly deep dives, we’ll be sharing exclusive updates and behind-the-scenes Meet Cutes content!

We can’t wait to share what’s next!

-The Meet Cutes Team

How’d you two meet? 

River: We met in 2011 in Texas at a cult. It’s interesting to say it that way, but yeah. We were 18 years old and were both sent to a Christian cult in Texas. 

Peter: It was designed as a ministry originally. We thought we were going to further our relationship with God or the religion. And as time went on, I think we saw that there were a lot of negative situations arising. 

River: While we were there a documentary came out on Dateline about the cult, so that was kind of how we discovered what it really was. 

How did you find each other at this cult? 

River: I got to the dorm I was staying at the first night and he happened to be there. I was actually actively trying not to be gay. My dad’s a pastor, so I was really trying to make him proud in whatever way possible. When I saw Peter, I was actually kind of scared of him because I had never been introduced to another gay person before. But we immediately clicked and started talking. 

Peter: I saw him and I was instantly attracted. I was infatuated, honestly. They were completely my type. And when I heard that they were from New York City, I was like That’s hot. I was so drawn to him and his aura and everything about him. 

The cult put us in groups, we were segregated from each other. The women were in a different dorm from the men. I got put in the same group as River. 

River: They had a whole rule book, and one of the rules that there were no “homosexual tendencies” allowed or you’d get sent home immediately. Peter knew that I was gay. I was hesitant at first, but we became such close friends. Something about him just made me feel safe and like I could let my guard down and open up my walls.

We used to just talk until three in the morning. We’d hide in the stairway because there was a curfew, and we’d get out and be able to talk for hours and hours. I wouldn’t have made it through the situation that we were in if it wasn’t for his friendship. 

How’d you keep in touch after your time there? 

River: We had formed such a formative bond while we were at the camp in Texas. It was a year long and very strenuous. We built such a bond that he was someone who I would call every single day after I came back to New York before I moved down to Houston to become his “roommate.” We’d talk every day, every time I was doing anything, any time I was nervous, going to an interview, going on a date. We had a long distance best friendship for eight years. 

When did you realize there was romantic interest there? 

River: In the beginning of 2020 I moved down to Houston. Peter was in an abusive relationship with his ex at the time and I went down in hopes of fixing their relationship and also going to a new city. 

The day I got there was the same day the news started talking about this virus starting to go around, and Peter was like “Should we worry?” And I was like “No, everything’s going to be fine!” Three weeks later, everything shut down. 

I had actually been happily single for a long time. I had my own failed relationships that Peter had been my best friend through, and we knew everything about each other. One night we were sitting on the porch swing and I looked over at him and asked him to kiss me. I didn’t know that it was going to turn into anything romantic, I was kind of just looking for an escape while the world was shut down. It kind of started off in a very hot way. His ex obviously wasn’t very happy about it, but I got that unemployment backpay and got us our own apartment and we moved out and started our relationship. We’ve been together ever since. 

What was it like pivoting to a relationship after a long friendship? 

Peter: It was scary as hell, honestly. Taking a leap and being romantic was so different than being best friends. There’s a change of expectations in a way. But I think we had so much love and admiration for each other, and we always wanted to save each other, that it wasn’t that difficult. 

When you go from best friends to lovers, you have to sacrifice certain parts of yourself that are different from a friendship point of view. It’s a whole different level of patience. 

River: I was single for so long because I really enjoyed my independence. I had said that I wasn’t going to get into another relationship unless I was with someone who fully supports what I want and also allows me to have my space, but also just be there at the same time. Us knowing everything about each other really helped us start that relationship. The way we communicate is huge. We talk about everything. He was my best friend already. So adding romance to that really wasn't difficult.

What has the response been like since you shared your story with Meet Cutes NYC? 

River: It’s definitely been mixed, but we’ve gotten so much love and support. It’s been really beautiful to see so many different comments. I’m very happy with the opportunity that you gave us. I feel like we have a story that can touch so many different people, and to be given the opportunity to share our story is beautiful. I appreciate you guys. Thank you. 

Peter: It’s been such a beautiful experience. Almost all of it is positive. And it’s not being gay or queer. I think it’s beautiful that people just acknowledge love and acknowledge a bond between someone. That gave me hope, because I’ve been feeling kind of down with people. It gives me hope that there are people out there all over the world that just see two people loving each other. It makes me emotional because I didn’t think I’d ever experience seeing positive comments like that. 

Wanna watch Peter and River’s original Meet Cute video? Click here.

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Interviewed and transcribed by Nicolas Vega. This interview has been edited for length and clarity.