Breaking the Mold

In this edition of our newsletter, we invite you to embark on a unique journey that defies convention and celebrates love in all its wonderful forms — breaking the mold. It's a narrative that intertwines three lives, forming a bond that is unique and inspiring.

Read the interview to learn how the loving “throuple” of Nick, Rich and Marc was formed through chance asynchronous encounters, open communication, a deli slicer and so much love to give.

How did you meet and how did your relationship develop over time?

Our adventure begins 14 years ago when Nick and Rich first crossed paths…

Nick: So Rich and I met back in the day on Manhunt, a dating website before the world of Grindr existed. And we just started chatting, as any two gay guys do. Chatting led into an actual phone call, and that then turned into a month just talking, which led to our first date at Elmo Chelsea, and then I basically moved into his place. We’ve been married for 5 years…

What was the conversation like when considering a third partner?

Rich: I literally one night in bed just said to Nick, hey, I want to be open to the idea of other people. We have so much love to give. I don't have anybody in mind. I know you don't have anybody in mind. But we have so much love to give.

Nick: Yeah, well at first I was totally against it, absolutely not. I did not have enough time to manage another relationship but Rich. Cut to two months later we meet Marc.

During those two months leading up to Marc, Nick and Rich began experimenting with what a third partner could look like. They started inviting others to hang at their house on Fire Island.

What was the first encounter with Marc like, and how did he eventually join your relationship?

Enter Marc, during the peak of the COVID-19 pandemic. In the midst of lockdowns and uncertainty, a serendipitous encounter occurred on Grindr where Marc and Nick were chatting. 

Marc: Nick sent me a picture of a deli slicer like that you would see at a deli. It's like this big 80 pound, industrial size slicer… And he was like, “I'm slicing prosciutto and cheese for the boys.” And it was so extra. I was like, who does that? Like who has an industrial grade deli slicer. Long story short, because of the deli slicer, I was like, I’ll come hang with you and I hung around the rest of that week, coming to every dinner and hot-tubing with Rich and Nick. And I think because they were married, in my head I was like, nothing's gonna happen [in regards to a relationship]. Like, we're just having fun having sex and enjoying each other. And then I laughed because my week was up. And I really missed both of them.

Rich recalls a special moment between Nick and Marc right before they officially sealed the relationship…

Rich: And I'll never forget, one day, Nick and Marc were hanging in the pool together. And I just see the way the two of them were looking at each other. And I was just like listen, obviously you love him, and he loves you, just say it. And I love you both. And let's get on with this. 

How do you handle the complex emotions that are bound to arise in your relationship?

Rich: Nothing you learn as a person in normal society builds you to have the tools to have this kind of relationship.

Marc: It was a lot of learning. Like relearning how to communicate, deal with jealousies, and the intricacies of having relationships that you're managing. It was a lot and then dealing with how the outside world perceives not just the three of us, but me as the third one coming in… I think I grew up with people shunning therapy but it's been so so eye opening and good for us. It’s wonderful. And we work through a lot of things.

When we asked them how they approach resolving difficult conversations, they mentioned that they all need to be in the room or need to give the other partner a full update if a conversation happens in isolation.

Marc: It’s never something where you ask someone to leave the room, so you can talk to one of your partners, we call that triangulating in the throuple world. And that's something that maybe works for some people, but not for us. There are conversations we have independently all the time but we always update each other about those conversations, especially if it has to do with anything serious.

Nick: We have to communicate a lot, and everyone has feelings. So there's no right or wrong. I mean, you know, you could do something really terrible, but we learned that there's no right or wrong, it's how something makes us feel. So we approach everything with that lens.

What does the future hold for you three?

Nick: We're super busy. I mean, we've got a lot of projects. We do want to solidify a marriage for the three of us and have that party for us. And for our friends and family. So that's definitely in the future.

Marc: We had a kid conversation. We're like, hey, we will talk about that in five years, because there's so much up in the air with our businesses. Rich owns his own business. Nick has two full time jobs, and is starting three different concepts. There's just so much that we're doing that we want to wait to talk about a kid.

P.S. The trio is working tirelessly to launch their publication — FireIslandTea — based on Fire Island. You can check out the instagram and website below.

Website: Fireislandtea.com

Instagram: @FireIslandTea

Meet Cutes NYC: In the journey of life, we often feel trapped by societal expectations and fear straying from the norm. But true freedom lies in being true to ourselves, embracing our unique stories. Our tales may challenge norms, redefine love, and question society. Yet, they showcase the richness of human experiences. Let's not shy away from our complexities; instead, let's weave together our diverse stories, celebrating the beauty of our shared humanity.