Accidental Love In The Club

When a Casual Night Out With No Expectations Led to "I Do"

Abby and David didn’t know what to expect when they went to Brooklyn’s ‘House of Yes’ for a birthday party in November 2017, but they knew one thing for certain: they weren’t planning on leaving with anyone.

Those plans quickly changed when they first met. Though David had only wanted to make a brief appearance at a friend’s birthday, Abby convinced him to stay a while. She was so convincing that she got him to take an Uber home with her that same night.

The next morning was Thanksgiving, and the two were soon talking like they’d known each other for years, and within months they made their relationship official. By fall of 2020, they were married, and the pair currently live in David’s native Harlem. As for Abby? She’s now a performer at ‘House of Yes’, and wants everyone reading this to know that the giant moon hanging over the nightclub has magic powers. After all, it worked for her.

How did you meet?

Abby: I had been out of a two year long “situationship” for a couple of months. Dating in New York is rough, I was at the edge of my rope. A friend of mine is a massage therapist and we were having a session and I complained to him about dating and asked him if I could date any of his friends.

He told me I didn’t want any of his friends, but invited me to come out to a club with him for his birthday to hang out and take some pressure off. If you’ve ever been to ‘House of Yes’ in Bushwick, Brooklyn it’s an experience. As I was getting ready, I looked at my little vanity mirror and was just like Why am I doing all this stuff? Am I just getting ready to try to go meet some man? I’m not going to do that tonight. I just want to go hang out with my friends and have a good time.

At ‘House of Yes’, there’s a show that usually happens earlier in the evening and then they transform the space into a nightclub after. What ended up happening is David came in to see the show, but he was coming from work and got there late. But all I heard was the door opening and someone shuffling behind me to get seated. And I’m turning around like Who is making all this noise? We’re trying to enjoy the show! Who is this person? So after the show, when they brought the house lights up, I turned around and David was sitting behind me and I was like Oh, he’s so cute. I noticed that he was talking to my friends that I had come with, so I went up to my friend and asked who he was and if he was single.

So it sounds like your plan to not meet a man that night didn't go so well?

Abigail: Oh, it was completely obliterated. I was like I don’t need a man and then when I turned around that went out the window.

David, what’s your side of this meeting?

David: I’d been single for a couple of years at that time, and the night before I had just had an awkward Tinder date. And after that I had told myself that I was going to just focus on myself and not pursue any sort of dating relationships.

Our mutual friend was celebrating his birthday and told me to come out. He came out for my birthday, so I wanted to show him love and return the favor. So I left work, went home and took a shower, and then headed out to Brooklyn.

I saw my friend, and then afterwards I saw Abby. I said “Hey, nice to meet you, blah blah blah.” It was casual. And then as the performance ended, it began to transform into a nightclub. And I saw Abby standing with a friend of hers, and she was waving me onto the dance floor. At first I was like “I’m tired and I kind of want to go home,” but then I decided maybe I could stay for an hour or two.

Abby: I told him “What are you gonna do? You’re gonna go home and… what? You made it all the way to Brooklyn, might as well stay for a couple of hours!” So I convinced him to stay. David is very shy to people he doesn’t know. If you know him, he can be outgoing. But you have to kind of pry it out of him. So I pulled him off the dance floor and I’m trying to kind of crack the shell. And I was like Oh my God, he’s really making me work hard! So I dialed up the flirtation a little bit more and he opened up a little bit more. But it wasn’t moving at the pace that I wanted it to, so I just had to make my intentions known.

And I told him “Listen, I live in the area. The Uber is outside. I’m going home. If you want to come home with me, you can. If you don’t, no hard feelings. You can just go home.”

How’d you respond to that offer?

David: I was just like “Yeah, let’s do it.”

How long ago was this?

Abby: This was actually the day before Thanksgiving in 2017.

The next morning, I had nothing in my fridge because I didn’t anticipate someone coming over. And when he woke up we just looked at each other and I was like “Hey, happy Thanksgiving! I don’t really have much to make anything, but would you like some breakfast?”

So I went into my kitchen, cracked my knuckles, got whatever ingredients I could and put together a little breakfast. And then we just sat and talked and talked for hours until all of the sudden it was the afternoon and he had to go visit his family.

How did the relationship grow from there?

David: I didn’t have any expectations at that time. I had just gotten broken up with, and I was questioning myself and if I was ready to take that leap forward again. And after speaking it over with my mom she told me “You’ve got nothing to lose, and you’re not doing anything. So you might as well.” And she was right. So after a couple months of dating I asked her to be my girlfriend. And then we began spending a stupid lot of time together.

You met at a time when you both had told yourselves you weren’t looking for anyone. Do you have advice for our readers when it comes to staying open to new opportunities? 

Abby: I would definitely say to remain hopeful. It’s hard out there. Dating is hard. But through the midst of it all there was always a hope that I had that everybody has their person. You just have to be open and not worry too much about any expectations. If your intention is to have fun and hang out but are open to possibilities of anything happening, that’s the one piece of advice I can give to anyone trying to navigate dating.

David: Just keep your eyes open, because you never know. Sometimes for me, I get in my head a lot. I would probably tell that person to live a little bit and not think too much. Everything will fall into place.

Abby, do you have any tips when it comes to sealing the deal with someone you think you like?

Abby: Yes! And I give my friends this advice all the time but they don’t want to listen. Do not be afraid to be yourself and to show yourself.

If you’re looking for a partner to spend the rest of your life with, you have to show them exactly who it is that you are. If they’re for you, then things will naturally happen the way that they should. And if they’re not, if they’re scared of all the energy that you bring, let them be scared. Because that person wasn’t for you. You have to remain hopeful in the process that something will eventually work out for you.

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📊 Last Week We Asked…

“Would you date one of your friends?”

  • 88% said “yes, I’d already know if we get along!”

  • 12% said “no, I would be afraid to ruin the friendship.”

And one meet-cuter shared: “All of my relationships (including my long-term partner now) have come out of friendships. In a friendship, you feel safe to be fully your self, to get to know someone maybe outside of their "best behavior" that they might put on when they are going on a date. Really deep love blossomed from my friendship with my partner.”

Do you or someone you know have a meet-cute story for the Love Letter? Get in touch here!

Interviewed and transcribed by Nicolas Vega. This interview has been edited for length and clarity